A loving relationship between parent and child is something every family hopes for, and this includes families blessed with the addition of an adopted child. But, while you cannot force a bond, you can be patient and nurture one.
The key takeaway from the following is to ensure that your adopted child feels like a part of the family 100 percent of the time, no question about it. This is especially important for children who are old enough to understand what is going on, that they were adopted, but that they will not be loved any less than the children who were born into the family. A family is a family no matter how you come to be a part of one. With that in mind, here are a few good ways to form a healthy connection with your child after private adoption in Charleston, SC:
- Be emotionally available: Your child may not know how to express their emotions in words, which is why children will act their feelings out. To help them understand emotion and that there are a range of emotions, take the time to describe verbally why you are sad, happy or angry.
- Have empathy: It’s important to express empathy for children—especially in times of stress. If they are saying or doing something that doesn’t make sense to you, that doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Watch what they do, and observe their body language and verbal cues to help you better relate.
- Make eye contact: Depending on your adopted child’s age, eye contact will either point to play for early childhood development or toward working on behavior. When you use eye contact in a playful manner, you are establishing that they are safe and free to have fun.
- Don’t take things personally: Be responsive to your child’s actions, but don’t take their pushing you away or yelling mean things personally. If the adoption was very recent, they could simply be scared, confused or still feeling hurt by past caregivers, and that could just be their way of adjusting to change.
- Let them take the lead sometimes: Building independence at a young age is crucial for all kids—biological or adopted. While you don’t want to let them rule your lives as the parents, what you do want to encourage is the stage of childhood when they think the world revolves around them. Don’t spoil or give in to bad behavior, but do let them feel like they are in charge sometimes.
- Create routines: Being a kid is stressful enough without having been in the foster care system for a time. By creating daily routines for your child—like set times for meals, daycare and going to bed—they can start feeling more secure and less stressed about things. If their day is predictable, they will start to develop their own patterns, and learn how to manage their emotions in the process.
Private adoption in Charleston, SC is a process that calls for professional legal assistance. If you need an attorney for any legal issues related to adoption, please don’t hesitate to give us a call us at Lister Law Office.
Categorised in: Private Adoption
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